Wittypedia
Witty Picks from hundreds witty articles.
Science, Technology, Sociology and Olyology
Time The Swiss were the first to regulate time efficiently. This was mostly so they could tell when it was time to look the other way...
World war II was originally going to be called 'World War One - part 2' but this was deemed too confusing and so a committee was formed to decide on a name.
Kumar Sartre Initially a somewhat miserable Indian boy then a slightly less miserable man...
Mankind designed for comfort... The man Who is the man?
Doors of Perception, Sleep Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Huuuu Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Big Brother, Chav They mark their territory, which is typically a straight bit of road - such as a high street - by driving up and down it incessantly.
Tea, A mildly hallucinogenic drink which gives the drinker superhuman powers of thought and body and also the urge to urinate on a regular basis.
Scientists Typified by wild unmanageable hair that either gets caught in the hinges of doors or becomes home to a menagerie of birds.
The ...has since gone on to become part of our everyday language and is used by many people all over the world - such as orphans (eg. 'i'm an orphan and the kettle has boiled)
Animals and Balloons
Animals. Animal is the collective name for things which are not vegetable, mineral or tartan. Mice are animals, as are leopards, but these differ in size enormously. Fish are also animals, although they mostly live under water, which is unlike land based animals - as anyone who has tried to keep cows in an aquarium will tell you.
God, Om and Fictionology
Coj Ok... so how many religions offer their followers a whistle activated key finder and quality logo'd T-shirt when they join? Only one that we know of!
"Religion seems to cause most wars so I say let's all gang up on God. Go round his gaff and kneecap him - y'know, tell him to stop making trouble in our manor."
Music, Computers & General Interest
Beer can be produced in a variety of recipes or styles though it should never be consumed as such. The best recipe of this kind is beef and ale pie and whilst tasty, it is difficult to consume without liquidation.
Space & The Nations
Galaxy. If you jumped from a spaceship traveling at 48mph onto a planet orbiting at 48.4mph, you would still die because you wouldn't be able to breathe.
